Elpidha

Reviews:

Too muscular for my taste.

spread

Maybe -- I don't know but maybe -- there were a couple of vague warning signs you could have picked up on. What an idiot -- him I mean, not you! I'll bet you are a strong intelligent & independent person. It takes some of us much much longer to get out of the clutches of a monster of indecision & selfishness. Gives you less time to step back and take real perspective, and gets you sucked into the whirlpool of emotion and hope. In truth he's pretty pathetic and laughable. I'm sorry to hear it. A lot of intense togther time. I think you encountered someone who has mastered the introduction, who knows how to present an attractive facade that any intelligent, rational person would find appealing. Took me four years! I don't think you qualify for idiot status. I doubt that's deliberate on his part (the effect on you I mean), it's probably just how he deals with relationships: throw himself in, thrash around for a while, jump out before he ever learns how to swim. Dear Laurynn, No, I don't think so. What has tripped you up is not an aggressor but a passive agressor -- and perhaps you weren't on the lookout for that. I think you did very well all things considered. Your guy is always going to present his position as if it were the only reasonable way to see things, he will have no problem saying one thing and doing another, for "feeling" things (do such monsters feel the emotions they profess?) but not allowing such feelings to guide their actions. All very good qualities. Like the fact that he came on so strong so quickly. And at first it can throw you off the scent of the less desirable things he exudes (like self-aborption, superficiality, you know better than I). You've been questioning the process all along and although you're already emotionally engaged (and therefore hurting) you didn't get too enmeshed in this. But you'll get away quickly enough I'll bet, now that you see him for what he actually is. He'd made up his mind about you (or seemed to) pretty fast, hadn't he? The problem I've found with monsters of indecision & selfishness is that they rarely understand themselves that that is what they are, they lack self-awareness, and they need to believe that they are good and that their actions are perfectly rational. I don't really see how you could have been expected to know that this guy is actually a grade-A flake. And to some extent he actually does possess them, right? Seeming sincere, self-aware, responsible & generous. Which he definitely seems to be. It's just not consistent. It took you several weeks to see through that.

Amazing :O

If he has been unhappy in his marriage for a long time, there is a good chance he's going to want some time to himself.

Also: one of my coworkers, who is ethnically Chinese told me today that she has only dated white guys her whole life and nobody in her family had anything bad to say, but when she brings home ONE black guy suddenly it's "you're betraying your culture" and "they're not like us"

Hence I didn't make the first move. That night he didn't ask me out or for my number so I left it at that and continued on with things. For this reason I decided that If a guy really liked me that he could initiate asking me out as I didn't want to be the one doing all the chasing this time.